Do you know that I’m a recovering mindreader who finally found out that I’m usually not right?! Me, not perfect? Huh. 😉
Some things that get stuck in the corners of my brain and like to linger and twist and settle:
- I’m not smart. I lose my train of thought so often. People must think I’m so dumb. I have to try really hard to do anything well. I’m not intelligent.
- If this person doesn’t like me, it’s my fault. What did I do wrong?
- My husband is going to resent me if I bring up the fact that I would rather stay home than go over to our friend’s house.
- I literally can’t do anything right… I want to work out more, I want to gain muscle… but I’m not getting results. Oh my gosh, I complain all the time..people at the gym must think I’m a joke for only lifting this much.
When you read these, what kinds of things come to your mind about ways you mind read and solidify what people think about you?
Poison. That’s what these thoughts are. And that’s what these exactly are – thoughts. These are not actual thoughts or feelings people are portraying or vocalizing. These are stuck points we arrive to internally that we can draw on to make excuses for why we can’t move forward and see success.
Here’s some questions you can ask yourself next time you have a mind reading episode:
- What triggered this thought? (break down why you have the insecurities you do)
- What evidence supports this thought or feeling in me?
- What evidence do I have that does not support this thought or feeling I have (i.e. I think my husband will resent me because I would rather stay home, but there have been plenty of times he has changed his plans for me and did not resent me; I didn’t ask him yet if we could stay home – so I can’t state that this is how he will respond)?
- What strides have I taken to get unstuck? // How can I celebrate myself in this moment? (I might not be lifting the weight I want, but I am going to the gym 3-4x/week and pushing myself while also listening to what my body can handle)
- Who am I mind reading, and ask yourself “Is this what they have vocalized to me before, or is this something I have made up in my head?”
Getting stuck in your head happens. Whether we get to this point because we are codependent, we have practiced walking on eggshells, we are afraid to ask people how they actually think or feel about us, we don’t want to come across needy, etc…try to analyze and process the questions above next time you are stuck in mind reading mode.